So, I recently told you I was dealing with some issues that interaction with a family member brought up. Well, I what I didn’t mention is that I do not do well with emotional turmoil. That makes emotional turmoil even harder for me.
Things must make sense for them to make sense to me. I like rational, logical situations—-emotions, smh. After I had felt I’d waded in the river of emotions long enough (longer than I liked), I had to get back to being me. For me, that meant a methodical process of moving forward.
To do that, I looked back at situations I’d experienced in the past and looked for things I’d done that worked. I also did some research to see what experts thought were the best ways to implement happiness skills.
It’s one thing to have knowledge on how to get and stay happy, but quite another to learn the skills. Just like anything else in life worth having, happiness skills are necessary to incorporate into your everyday lives. Here are a few:
A Positive Mental Attitude
Everyone has up days and down days. It’s only natural and a part of life. Here’s the key: If you stay stuck in how bad your day is, your day is only going to get worse. Go through the motions of the day, and deal with just the facts. Your car got swiped in the supermarket parking lot? Yes, that is frustrating and annoying. Deal with it methodically and don’t invest too much story or emotion into it. Put your energy into calling the insurance company, filing a report, and you’ll be on your way to having a better day in no time flat.
A Good Support Group
When life gets in the way of happiness, and things do happen, a good support group, otherwise known as a tribe, is essential to keeping your happiness in check. Your clan will tell you the truth, be sympathetic, and listen to you over and over and over again. They can also spot things you keep in your blind spot. When you manage other people’s lives and do too much, your friends will tell you that you’re acting like an enabler – and they might just be right. That is something you might not otherwise see.
When plan A doesn’t pan out always have a Plan B, and Plan C, for that matter. When life tumbles you down, it’s important to get back up and keep moving forward. To be happy, you cannot allow things to hold you back. You can choose to sit and wallow, or you can give yourself enough time to go through the emotions and then keep moving. When you are faced with a closed door, start looking for that open window.
Related Post: 8 Steps to Developing Your Own Happiness
Tap Into Your Talents and Gifts
We all have them – a set of talents and gifts. For some, it’s the ability to crunch numbers, and for others, it’s leadership skills. Tap into your talents and gifts and go where they lead you instead of the other way around. Highlight your greatest talents and gifts and lead with those and you will be so happy to find where they take you.
Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket
Either professionally or personally in relationships – When you put too much happiness in one area of your life, you are not cultivating happiness. Imagine having a garden and putting all the different flowers, vegetables, and fruits in one hole. The next thing you know a gopher or a rabbit comes by and eats up all the seeds. You are left with nothing but a hole. It’s the same way in relationships and business ventures. Don’t put everything in one place. Spread your happiness circle.
Get a Good Grasp on the Past
Don’t let the past rule your future – When you find yourself getting upset, stop and ask yourself an important happiness measuring question. Why am I really upset or angry? What has triggered me? More often than not, you were thinking about something or someone who upset you or were triggered by past evaluations stuck in your head. Take the time and do the work to heal your past so you can have a happy present.
Roll With the Punches
Sometimes life throws you a curveball and you need to be able to play the game effectively. Staying still for too long is ineffective and counter-productive to happiness. Anytime you are stuck in a particular place; you thwart your growth.
Train Your Brain to Look at the Small Stuff
When you are doing a chore or having a conversation, look for the nuances of what’s great about that particular event. While no one relishes the thought of doing laundry, isn’t it wonderful to be able to walk over to your washer and dryer and have clean and dry clothes in no time at all? Start to train your brain to think and view little things differently.
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